Demon Pigeon Proudly Recommend “Porky Swords” by COLD STEEL
We here at DEMON PIGEON (INCORPOREAL) AGGLOMERATED DOT COM (CAYMAN ISLANDS) are overwhelmed with pride to be able to report the conclusion of negotiations on our first endorsement deal. It’s been a hard road, but as our new, deep-pocketed friends would say, ain’t no easy road worth the travellin’.
Introducing COLD STEEL KNIVES.
Cold Steel, Incorporated was founded in 1980, a company dedicated to making the strongest, sharpest knives in the world.
Over the last three decades, Cold Steel has been at the forefront of the many innovations that have helped to define the knife industry as a whole. Progressive accomplishment, including the introduction of the checked Kraton® handles, and the tanto point blade styles have gone from curiously interesting features to industry-wide hallmarks of quality and sophistication.
We fucking love swords and stabbing stuff too! Not quite as much as these mad fellas, admittedly, but not far off! Also, most of our sword action is either against computer game sprites or our own bespittled fists, rather than against suits of ceremonial armour, car hoods, or old cowboy boots full of raw pork. But swords, right. And heavy metal. You get me?
Check this bad motorscooter out:
On first glance, we agree, it looks like a fat man reddening his jowls trying to reduce some plywood to splinters with a five foot fucking sword. But it’s actually the culmination of every single art known to the star and CEO of Cold Steel: Lynn Thompson. He took the time to explain what makes Demon Pigeon so special to him.
As any reader of the site will know, the boys (and girl) at Demon Pigeon are known for their stiletto-smarts, their razor-wits, and their self-harm scars, all things we here at Cold Steel Fucking Swords can well understand. We totally get kids and are definitely not petrified by the world outside our gated communities. There’s a heavy rock band called Anvil right? I use anvils all the fucking time (to make the swords on)! You guys probably love that Rush song Armor and Sword, right? That song BOOGIES, dudes! Anyway, I guess that’s my 300 word endorsement pretty much wrapped up. Cowabunga, have a radical day!
Yes, that’s right. Here he is, hugging a Def Leppard (dead leopard). Like us, you might initially think that posing gleefully with a member of an officially-recognised threatened species that you have recently slaughtered is a sociopathic and despicable thing to do. Ah, but you don’t understand. For to kill endangered animals is to master… one’s emotions. I’ll let Lynn explain himself:
Look out for more Cold Steel product updates and the special announcement of our upcoming Demon Pigeon/Cold Steel Unfair Animal Murder Safari Weekender, taking place in Rhyll. We can safely say a better partnership was never ‘forged’!